Who do you want to be?

I should be studying for a greek test I have to ace tommorow if i want to pass, but I'm engrossed in the play i've been watching for the last 20 minutes or so. I'm not at a theatre, I'm in the "coffee shop" at seminary. Watching people is funny, especially seminary students. Especially single seminary students. Throw a halfway attractive girl, screw that, just a girl you can look at with the lights on, put her in a room with single seminary guys and it's like chum in shark infested water. Most guys seeking a girls attention or even affection will you know, talk to her. Get to know her, ask her out. Apparently, we do things a little differently here at DTS. Guys turn into peackocks (i know i can't spell) and put on these weird little shows for them. They'll talk really louldy on their cell phones and make sure everyone can hear their conversation, which is important enough that it should impress the rest of us. They are putting out a picture of who they want people to see them as (ie the tool telling everyone about his prestigous career as a college football player, which, btw seems tough to believe when a guy's 5'7 250, but whatever) As much as i enjoy mocking these morons, it makes me think about how much i have in common with them. I don't mean i'm going to start pimping out my God given calling to get dates with studious church girls, but i definanlty have an idea of who i want to be, and the type of reputation i want to carry around with me. I know the type of man God calls all of us to be in scripture, especially those seeking positions of leadership in his church. And i'm down with that, i aspire so strongly to be patient, wise, prayerful, GODLY. and my heart longs to be a good husband and father......but here's the thing-as good as all that stuff sounds, the work it takes to get there sucks, and it's easy to get distracted. Honestly, sometimes i'd rather have alot of friends than take a hard stand on something. Sometimes i'd rather hang out with a girl who likes to mess around more than she likes jesus. I'm not saying i actually do, but what i want to do and what i should do don't always jive. also, i'm not patient, i get angry, and bitter at the church, and sometimes it's hard for me to love people I don't like. (and most of them seem to be church people) Fortunantly, God has given me numerous examples both in scripture and in my life that model the kind of men and pastors i want to be. My friend old rick at seminary is 33. He as a great looking family, a wife and two daughters. He models the sacrificial love towards his family and sheperds them towards God. Rick is the kind of dad and husband i want to be. Jason Ganze is my mentor. he's the high school pastor at a church here in dallas and loves Jesus and his family. I want to be Jason, anything good I am I learned from him. I have a friend from college, dan. Dan is one of the most mature, hardest working people I know. I hope to imitate the kind of humble Godly leader he is. Jack, one of the pastors at Fellowship where I work is someone i personally look up to and identify with. He exemplifies how to be a Godly leader and manage the direction of a church. The thing that sucks for us is to be the people we want to be, we have to give up alot about the people we are, and it's almost always long, and always painful.